It is almost here and it is time to take charge of you!

 

We are just a few days from the turning of a calendar page that will mark the beginning of another New Year. I thought when the calendar turned last year that maybe, just maybe we could breathe a sigh of relief.  I was wrong. I didn't think 2021 could outdo 2020 in shear stress, loss, fear, and plain out jumbling of life - but I was wrong.  I could write a post singularly on the things that went south in my life personally, not to mention so many people I care about, but I am not going to do that.

2022 is my year of hope, celebration, surpassing goals, and seeing personal success.  I am going to focus on what wonderful things I have.  This doesn't mean my life is perfect but it means I am going to find the perfection between the thorns. God has been so very good to me and I often forget that fact,  I am excited about what is to come.

I am going back to why I started blogging. I am going to celebrate life.  That includes my amazing, too good for me, husband. Why he loves me, I don't know but am so blessed he does.  Love after 50 is different and we are still technically newlyweds so I am sure I will share the struggles and triumphs of this season which includes blending families and lifestyles. My husband truly took a withered vine and nursed it back to health and continues to love me daily and helps me grow stronger.  He makes me feel like anything is possible. With him, by the way, his name is David, I have learned to dream and my creative spirit is being watered to life. Things I long had felt I lost the ability to do or the passion to pursue have bloomed and I am not afraid to share without shame. In a past life I was made to feel as if sharing the things that brought me joy was wrong and annoying, but the great thing I have learned is that it doesn't matter because it brings me pleasure.  I will be sharing the creation and evolving of our home and gardens, time with old and new friends, exploring food, entertaining and adventures...not to mention products I have tried, books I have read, life with children who are now young adults, and of course life with 3 big dogs.  Oh...and a liberal dose of fashion, shoes, and skincare/makeup just to round out life.

Transparency is a word I have often used in the blogging world but I am committed to it...the good, the bad, and the ugly - which, when you think about it is truly all part of the beautiful thing we call life.

Ultimately I have realized my greatest gift is that I am a Lifestyle Curator.  My greatest talent is helping to create lives that are not just beautiful on the outside but also the inside in the deepest part of one's heart.  We can have both and they can both be real and transparent.  You can be perfectly put together and have a day that is just off and that is okay. Tears are okay. A messy house is okay.  A beautiful life is one where you can be all those things and continue to strive for peace which is the basis of the ultimate beautiful life.

I love you for taking a few moments to read my words. Your comments mean more than you will ever know. I would very much like for you to leave a comment with your greatest hope for 2022. Let the best be yet to come!

What I wish more churches would share with young parents

There are lots of things I like about the church we attend, and I could really go on and on about what wonderful guidance I received in celebrating this year's Easter observance, but today, in the packed Easter Service my eyes were drawn to a little note that hangs in each pew.  It is for parents of young children.  Now, of course, I no long fit this demographic but I totally appreciate it because when you are the parent of a young child it can feel like they make no louder ruckus than in church!


It says:

To the Parents of Children, May We Suggest....

Relax,God put the wiggle in children; don't feel you have to suppress it in God's house. All are welcome.

Sit towards the front where it is easier for your little ones to hear and see what is going on. They tire of seeing the backs of others heads.

Quietly explain the part of of the service and actions of the pastor, ushers, choir, etc.

Sing the hymns, pray and voice the responses. Children learn liturgical behavior from copying you.

If you have to leave the service with your child, please feel free to do so, but please come back. As Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

Remember that the way we welcome children in the church directly affects the way they respond to the Church, to God, and to one another. Let them know that they are at home in this house of worship.

TO THE MEMBERS OF OUR CHURCH

The presence of children is a fit to the Church and they are a reminder that our congregation is growing.

Please welcome our children and give a smile of encouragement to their parents.

So, Mamas and Daddies, don't feel you are disturbing the service.....YOU are part of the service and YOU are the ministers to the next generation.  

Looking for Peace at the Seashore

Yesterday, my mind swirled with all kind of thoughts and emotions...you know the kind that make you question everything.  Even though I don't make the mark often, I am still trying to be the change and not add negativety into our world, but some days seem to push you further than you expect; maybe it is a day when you had plans with someone and they decided to do something else with someone else (and you aren't included) or maybe it is an unexpected bit of news from work or family.  Those days really don't make you want to play nice or cooperate with anything or anyone.  They are draining and disappointing. 

So, to relieve the stress and not just sit at home alone, I got in my car and started driving.  Where?  I didn't know, I just went.  It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I let the roads lead me.  It isn't hard to figure out, though, like a magnet it took me through some areas I had never seen before and I ended up at the seashore.  Fortunately, it was a reasonably quiet spot of sand and I was able to just sit and watch the water come in, pray and think.  I have a lot to pray about....my family relations, my future, a job, etc. and I have a lot to be thankful for as well. 

This is a season of change for my family and now our little household is down to only 2 plus the 2 furbabies.  With that comes adjustment...not necessarily bad adjustment, just adjustment.  My greatest love has been to be a Mom and I am sad to see that season ending. Although, I will always be their Mom....it isn't the same.  I have 36 months before my baby flies and when you put it in those terms it almost overwhelms me.  My other children now live hours away and it is going to take some time to wrap my mind around what used to be and what is. I struggle because I don't know how to hold us together in this season.  I thought I had it all clear in my head and now I get to start over.  Oh, joy!

I blew it today....again.

photo credit unknown

I blew it today...Again.  I blew it as a Mom.  I failed to bridge a connection and scale a wall that I can't see or don't even know where it starts. I failed to teach respect or honor.  It weighs heavily on me, always.  I think all Mothers feel that when they aren't connecting with their children, no matter how old that child might be.  There is a saying, that you are only as happy as your most unhappy child, and I know for me that has always held true.  I want to be a good Mom and I think being a single Mom, I multiply that pressure  tenfold.  The reality is, I stink at being a Dad, so when I fail at being a good Mom I beat myself up doubly.  Of course, everyone will say don't do that...I just haven't quite figured out how not to yet. 

I am trying so hard to be the Mom I should be, it is literally the top priority in my life as my calling from God. My relationship with my children is only second to my relationship with God.  It is very discouraging when I drop the ball and watch it roll down an endless hill, with little hope of recovery.  I say things I shouldn't, I don't say things I should.  More than anything I want to be a pathway to Christ for my children and when I mess up, like today, I know I am so far off the mark it isn't funny.  Rather than lighting a path...I am building a roadblock.

My greatest earthly blessings are my children.  I know that there is nothing that they will ever do that will stop my love for them.  My greatest desire is for them to grow into Godly men and a Godly woman...much more than I ever have been.  I want them to avoid the pains I have walked through because I wasn't walking with God or putting Him first but sometimes words aren't enough.  I am grateful that God forgives, unfortunately, humans (even our children) aren't so quick to do so no matter how many times we ask.  We are the closest things to God our children often see, they see our failures and humanness and assign it to what they think God is.  That is why it hurts so badly when I fail one of them, because I know I may very well be pushing them further from their Heavenly Father.

So, I get up from my epic fall, wipe off my knees, and hopefully, I will get another day to try again.

This Kid...

I have some pretty great kids....like better than other people (yes, I just said better than other people...but I believe it...yep, I do.)  They each have their strengths and each has their unique talents and over the last few months they have all shown what amazing individuals they are but I just have to write about this kid today.  Now, don't get me wrong...I have, at one time or another, written about my other children but tonight he is on my heart.  He is my baby, though by the looks of this photo, baby probably isn't the right word but I can blame it on the fact that his Mom isn't very tall so he looks really tall...right?

This kid has really been through the ringer the last few months, well, actually the last few years (check back here to read his back story) 
but he has really shown me what insight and what heart is, in a way I could have never expected from a child.  He has clarity about things that I, as an adult, can't wrap my brain around.  He has a heart that hurts for others in a way that I can only hope to have one day.  He also feels burdens that other kids (or adults for that matter) don't feel, which isn't always good.  He is struggling right now with a loss in his life that I can't fix for him but he still finds the ability to worry about me.  About me.... how did I get so blessed?  All my children worry about me, but this one...he watches and worries and I wish I could take that away.  He is too young for that kind of weight. 

I was sick recently and this kid gets up and fixes breakfast for he and his older brother before school, without being asked, because I couldn't.  He just did it...including vitamins.  He is just that kind of a kid.  I am grasping at straws in so many ways in trying to figure out how to parent my young men on my own but moments like this...they are like a jolt to my soul.   Someone told me today that I had to be and could be both Mother & Father....and here I am with my little man leading the way.   So, as I look ahead, I hope one day he will know exactly what an amazing young man he is.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

~James 1:17

Psalm Sunday 2014

Image property of FaithGateway

Psalm Sunday is one of those days that I have missed the true significance of  most years, if not always.  I have lots of memories of watching my sweet children parade through our church waving construction paper psalm leaves in symbolism of the day, but I wonder...did I ever stop and think about what that day meant? Did I ever raise up to shout praises to my Savior, even in my heart?

No, I am sure I didn't.  I am sure I sat there with my beautiful family, in my comfy church, looking ahead and listening to beautiful music and a sermon. I may have even made notes in my Bible "to look back at later and meditate on" but probably  I just sat there;  maybe my mind wandered to what we were all going to wear next week on Easter Sunday or even where we were going to eat after church.   My heart didn't hurt for the trials my Savior faced after his "parade."  My heart did not hurt for those pains He faced and accepted for me.  My heart was not humbled by any of it.  I didn't compare the humble entry of Christ on a donkey to the arrival my King should have received.  I didn't humble my heart and life and welcome Him to parade into it with full regalia.  I am hoping today that I can pause, and remember, only through Him do I have eternity and those sweet children who made those construction paper psalm leaves to wave. Today I want to praise Him and shout His arrival.  Only through Him do I have salvation and so much more than I deserve.

The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Hosanna in the highest heaven!"

~Matthew 21:9 (NIV)

Worn thin...

Today was a day I have looked forward to...the first day of Spring.  It arrived with a beautiful face and promises of bright days ahead.  But, tonight, my heart is feeling worn thin and I am so very tired that my body hurts and tears are flowing freely.  All of my children are in pain and they truly need more than I have to give and it is killing me. 

The enemy is attacking and I hear his whispers, "You can't fight, you won't win...not tonight...it is too hard...you are too tired...you are too alone, you aren't enough, you never have been.  If you were a good Mom you wouldn't be doing this alone..I will bring them down one by one.  It is a lost cause.."  He is cornering me.  He is shouting rather than whispering... and I am stumbling.

I just want something to be easy....just something.  I want my children to be safe and out of this battle.  I don't want to fight for just a little while, I want someone to fight for me.. I want to lay down and be held and my hair rubbed and someone to tell me it will be OK.  Tonight...it hurts. 

Then Jesus said, 

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,

 and I will give you rest".

~Matthew 11:28

Make me empty...so I can be filled...

Where do I even start?  There are so many words jumbled in my mind and heart I can't seem to make heads or tails of them.  This week has been one of the most challenging of my life.  I have been forced to make decisions I never wanted to make and I had to step out in faith...in faith alone.  I have had to watch my children's hearts break anew. I have dried more tears than I ever hoped to see in a lifetime, especially from my children.  I have had my moments of just wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out.  It has been hard.  It just seems too hard, it hurts too much, I am so tired of failing. 

But through the hard....I truly haven't been alone.  God is faithful and He has been here and He is providing and blessing me more than I deserve.  Even when my heart doesn't feel it, I know it.  My heart is fallible but My Jesus is not.  I have cried tears of my own this week...some from the over flowing blessings and some from over flowing pain and I keep singing this song and praying for peace.

)

Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me--now let me rejoice.

~Psalm 51:8

TV Tuesday... SuperNanny to the Rescue!

Yes, apparently after not writing about TV in over 5 years of blogging, I have now decided to write about it two weeks in a row!  I am just afraid to even consider what that may mean about my reality these days. 

Do you ever watch SuperNanny?  I do and for a really self serving reason; when I watch the show it makes me feel a whole lot better about my own kiddos. AND when we watch as a family my kids always tell me they are glad I am their Mom...isn't that reason enough to watch???  Is that mean?  Probably.  Though, I really like Jo and her no nonsense approach to family life and that she seems to call out parents on their lack of parenting and how they are responsible for the atmosphere and climate of their own home.  Often, on the show, Jo touches on more than child behavior and addresses the adults in the situation even more than the children and she isn't afraid to call it as she sees it.  I imagine her help goes a lot farther than just making the kids get into bed on time. 

Anyway, I read today that SuperNanny is now casting for families in America! Do you know of anyone who could benefit from a little SuperNanny love and guidance? 

If you or a friend or family would like to be considered contact ShedMedia here for an application:  Be on SuperNanny!

Wonder if they take anonymous nominations???  heheheh...



Monday Mommy Musings

my youngest when he was 4

Today has been one of those busy “Mom Days”. You know the ones where you have tons of laundry to fold, a grocery list to make, shopping and errands to do. Nothing hard, just time consuming. One of those days when I feel like I have missed so much time with my children. But also today, as I have gone about my tasks, I have had some heavy thoughts on my mind about being a Mother.

Last night, a friend told me the background of a couple of children I am acquainted with. They have been casual playmates of my children in different activities, but we don’t really know their family and from what I have seen they always seem to be happy go lucky…normal, everyday children. I was heartbroken to find out that these children have faced horrible abuse and unimaginable horrors in their short little lives. And the saddest thing…these terrible unspeakable pains were heaped upon them from the very people that should have loved and protected them most, their parents….and as a Mom, it horrifies me to know that a Mother could do something like this. My friend was not sharing in a gossipy way but as one Mom to another...sharing her heart with me.

So, my mind and heart have wandered around today pondering on the perils of children who have had their smiles, laughter and had childhoods ripped from them by the very people they love the most. Of course, you always hear of abuse and I know it has been around since the beginning of time. but that is no reason not to be shocked and angered by its presence. Unfortunately, we can become so complacent and just think “Oh, how sad” but never stop and really think about what it means to a little heart and soul. Wounds may heal, but those scars remain.

Today when I was out doing my errands, I felt like I was a acutely aware of each set of little eyes that looked up at me. I went out of my way to look directly at each little soul and smile, because it breaks my heart to think there are children who don’t know what it is like to have someone smile at them each and every day. I don’t really know where I am going with this post; it was just on my mind…Now I am off to hug my boys.

The value of Reading...

The other night, the kiddos and I took our dinner to the park to have a picnic and play. After eating DS#2 headed to the play area. I, being an attentive Mommy, watched him climb up the play structure and into the yellow, spiral, tube slide. I sat there, all content and soaking up the warm evening while joyous sounds of children playing surrounded me, until I realized (see...this is where the attentiveness comes it!) DS#2 hadn't come out of the slide. How long does it take to come down the slide? Maybe 30 seconds??? Well, he had been in there for far longer, so I called out his name. He finally pops out. So, I have to ask him, why on earth it took him so long to come down. He shrugs his little shoulders and answers, all matter of factly, "People have written lots of stuff in there and I wanted to read it!" Oh, Boy! That reading thing has really paid off...geez.

Jr. Cotillion, the stuff boys dreams are made of...

Well, maybe not the stuff boys dream of, but their Southern Mamas? Now, that is another story. You must realize that I completely believe in the parenting model that is willing to torture your child - in the ways of civility - if it is for his or her own good!

DS1 (dear son born 1st) wrapped up his 1st year of Jr. Cotillion just recently at the bigger-deal-than-he-would-have-liked Spring Ball. IT was just so cute!!! All those young people dressed to the nines and dancing the night away. I must note, though, that my DS1 looked pretty miserable throughout and these photos aren't the best (trust me, if you are trying to snap photos of said child at an event that is "for your own good" you try to do it as covertly as possible an at a great distance!).

Here DS1 is checking his Dance Card (yes, they had to fill them out and use them).

Doesn't he look excited???

Isn't this just precious?

Oops, I think the photographer has been spotted!

When is this over and could you pretend not to know me?

Not thrilled, but handsome!

DS1 and his little partner won an award for "Best Cha-Cha"! Oh, he was just beyond himself!!!! You know it! I think the excitement of getting that award (and having to accept it in front of all the attendees - many of which he plays baseball with) was probably one of those moments he will cherish (not) forever!

I love this comfortable looking dance! DS1 was surely thrilled that she was wearing gloves, though. After every Cotillion event, I seemed to hear a half-hour dissertation on the grossology of girl's sweaty hands...go figure.

At the end of the night, the parents were invited to share a special dance with their child. I loved it, DS1 was just ready to go. As soon as we left, we beat a hot path to the late night drive-thru at Burger King, because DS1 was starving; according to him all you get to eat at Cotillion is tiny food!

I haven't forgotten Fall...

Since I have been the reminder for lots of folks that Christmas, is indeed, less than 2 months away I thought I might let everyone know that I haven't forgotten fall. Fall is actually my favorite season. I don't decorate for Halloween, but rather do a fall theme that carries me until Thanksgiving (which is then quickly switched out for Christmas!). To pump up the festiveness of the lights at my entry I just tied some gorgeous Indian Corn with a bow.
What is a door without a wreath?

Welcome Fall!
You can see my little mounds of pansies peeking out!
Dh and I got our corn stalks at Jaemor Farms and were very surprised to find they actually still had corn on them!

My boys were really thrilled that we did a display this year. I used to do one in the yard every year but not in the last few.

Notice there are 3 scarecrows....one girl and 2 boys...guess who is who?

Cotillion...

I did say I would blog about Cotillion, didn’t I? Well, my oldest DS started Cotillion training last weekend. To say that he was less than thrilled is an understatement, but hey…I still pay the rent!
We did have to pick up a new blazer, which he liked pretty well, but I am not sure it goes with the t-shirt and plaid shorts - but at least he is wearing it. Of course, lots of friends were in the class, so he did have some moral support. When I picked him up he said it wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be; except the two girls he had to dance with stepped on his feet and apparently one girl had really sweaty hands (go figure THAT would bother HIM, considering he is usually covered in sweat and muck from playing ball - maybe girl hand sweat is more offensive????). Fortunately, since the 1st experience “wasn’t as bad as I thought” his attitude about going back has greatly improved. Hmmm....

They are off....

Today is the 1st day of school.... We managed a smooth send off this morning but I feel sad. I think I have dreaded the 1st day of school this year almost more than any other. I don't really know why...maybe because school is starting back way too early (?), maybe because I feel like summer is just getting started (?), maybe because I am feeling the moments in this season of life running swiftly away...I just don't know. The morning was nice though, I got ready before the kiddos and cooked their breakfast and while they ate, I made lunches and listen to the three of them chitter-chatter about the day to come. It was somewhat of a sad Mommy Moment when I realized that DD would be driving herself to school because she has cheer practice after...that is the 1st time that I haven't taken her on the 1st DAY! I did see her in the parking lot, though and she just looked so grown up.

I came home after dropping the boys off and got some laundry on, walked the dog, weeded a bit in the bed out front and... prayed for my children...yes, I think that was the most important thing. This year I hope to be a better prayer warrior for them during the days when they are away at school.

Football!

For several years I have intended to take my children to watch the Atlanta Falcons training camp. The Falcon's training facility is pretty close to our home and watching training camp is FREE, (free is always good!), but every year I seem to miss it; NOT this year!!! Luckily for me, my good friend (http://www.bulldawgfamily.blogspot.com/ ), mentioned at dinner Tuesday night, that she had taken her crew that day and they had a great time. So today I loaded up my 3, bright and early, and we headed to training camp!

We got there before practice started. Fortunately, it was below 90 degrees this morning.
My boys were just in heaven - though DD is a pretty big football fan, herself. Oh, and we got lots of freebies like minature footballs, lanyards, golf (???) towels, etc.

It was was bit cooler than it has been and there was a light breeze but these guys definately got a workout.

We received lots and lots of autographs afterwards as the players walked around the field spending time with their fans. As a parent, I really appreciate the time that these players spent visiting and just being all around good sports - it was so nice to see - especially after last years not so great Falcons publicity year!

It was fun and I just can't wait for football season to start!

Photos of times past...

Do you have certain photos that when you see them, take you back to another time in your life more than others? This is one of those transporting photos...back to another time, another city, another season. I actually have a copy of this photo hanging by my computer and sometimes I just pause and stare at it. I look at the tiny details and remember that time. This photo is of my oldest DS and it is almost 10 years old. We lived in Columbus, Georgia in my most favorite of all the homes we have owned. Our backyard was a child's haven and we had this wonderful porch that led to all the fun. In this photo I see more than just my adorable oldest son...but I see the season of my DD with her purple jelly shoes and pink soccer ball to the left, I see the rose bush that was rotting when we bought the house but I (not painlessly) nursed back to health and trained to climb up the side of the porch, I see the table and chair set that DH bought me for my birthday the 1st year I was a Mommy, I see the bubbles that were part of our play time, the push car that I used to take DS1 for walks in. I am transported back to a sweet time...a time of a toddler in seersucker and sand.

Drought....

This past weekend DD and DS#2 and I decided to walk around the lake a bit. I realize that doesn’t sound very interesting but to those of you outside of North GA ,you might be interested in knowing we literally walked around “IN” the lake. If you haven’t heard... North GA is in a severe drought and has been for the last year or so. Lake Lanier and others lakes in the region are practically unrecognizable. Though, loved by boaters and fisherman alike, most of the boat ramps are closed and it is dangerously low. Here is a link http://www.conservewatergeorgia.net/Documents/georgia_drought.html if you are interested is learning more.

Normally, the water line is up to those trees and makes it an island.
Yes, that is a boating buoying (is that how you spell that?) to let boaters know of more shallow waters...in a full lake you wouldn't see the bottom half or the pole! Now, if that isn't context I don't know what is.
DD & DS#2

BTW, the clams are dying in our lake!

More snow photos...

Sadly, our snow never amounted to quite what was forcast but the children had some fun playing in the tiny bit that did arrive.

They had to seek out the "best" places to attempt some sledding.

At least there was enough for some sneak attack snow ball throwing!

Merry Christmas, Strangers!

Merry Christmas, bloglanders! Yes, it has been a while (Thanksgiving - blush - I think). It has been a very busy season here at Southern Somedays so I have had to take a blogging break and sadly I wasn't polite enough to make that note to all you sweet people who sent me emails and comments.

We have survived the Christmas season relatively scar free, but not without feeling frazzled. This year was the 1st Christmas that I have worked outside the home since we have had children. I generally become "Martha" and all things festive magically appear and are organized for my family...not so much this year! We didn't have as many photo moments to be sure and I am struggling with that - I love them as much as the children do. Gifts weren't purchased and wrapped and under the tree from day 1 (yes, I was still shopping last Friday which I did NOT like in the least bit!). Cookies were not baked (at my house, at least), and caterers were good friends this year. Well, it may not have been Marthaesque but it did get done!

Even with the crazy/busy we have had a wonderful Christmas season full of blessings.

Blessing: we were able to find a bit of time each Sunday evening to celebrate our family version of Advent. We spent precious time gathered in our kitchen reading from the Bible and lighting the candles of our Advent Wreath. It was one of the high lights of the season.

Blessing: We also were able to go caroling to shut-ins from our church one Wednesday Night.

Blessing: DH and I celebrated 19 years of marriage...though he did take DD to a concert that night (what? LOL).

Blessing: Our family was blessed, as usual, by the Christmas Music Program done by the Lower School which both our sons are in. BTW, it was a CHRISTMAS Program complete with God, Jesus and the true meaning behind the season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessing: DD took part in our Church's annual Christmas Production and Dinner theatre and we were all so very proud of her. She also had her 1st Voice Recital last Friday night and we were blown away by her talent (where did she get that?).

BIG Blessing: I suppose the true highlight was last night, when our youngest DS was baptised during our Church's Christmas Eve Candlelight Service. It was even more special knowing that our oldest DS was baptised 4 years ago, also in the Christmas Candlelight Service. Knowing that all 3 of my children have accepted Christ and have made a public profession of faith is all the Christmas Gift that this Mommy could ask for.

Busy or not I know that we are so blessed and God is so good and merciful and full of grace. Grace that I can't begin to grasp...Mercy that came in a manger...Merry Christmas all.