What I wish more churches would share with young parents

There are lots of things I like about the church we attend, and I could really go on and on about what wonderful guidance I received in celebrating this year's Easter observance, but today, in the packed Easter Service my eyes were drawn to a little note that hangs in each pew.  It is for parents of young children.  Now, of course, I no long fit this demographic but I totally appreciate it because when you are the parent of a young child it can feel like they make no louder ruckus than in church!


It says:

To the Parents of Children, May We Suggest....

Relax,God put the wiggle in children; don't feel you have to suppress it in God's house. All are welcome.

Sit towards the front where it is easier for your little ones to hear and see what is going on. They tire of seeing the backs of others heads.

Quietly explain the part of of the service and actions of the pastor, ushers, choir, etc.

Sing the hymns, pray and voice the responses. Children learn liturgical behavior from copying you.

If you have to leave the service with your child, please feel free to do so, but please come back. As Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

Remember that the way we welcome children in the church directly affects the way they respond to the Church, to God, and to one another. Let them know that they are at home in this house of worship.

TO THE MEMBERS OF OUR CHURCH

The presence of children is a fit to the Church and they are a reminder that our congregation is growing.

Please welcome our children and give a smile of encouragement to their parents.

So, Mamas and Daddies, don't feel you are disturbing the service.....YOU are part of the service and YOU are the ministers to the next generation.  

It is August hot....in the South....

Photo: Kinship Christian Radio

Yes, it is hawt....not just hot....but hawt.  For those of you lost in this vernacular let me try to define it. Hawt is a temperature that reaches beyond what those outside of the warmer climates refer to as summer heat. Hawt is a heat that reaches inside your lungs to make the air feel 10 lbs heavier, all the while, squeezing you from the outside like a big, old sticky hug from the uncle you really never want to hug you. 

It is a level of heat and humidity that makes you contemplate whether getting the mail today is really a necessity and you pray a huge thanks over the geniuses that made central A/C a reality. My dogs even are opposed to these levels of heat as they have to practically be pushed out the door to do their business and return to the house acting as if they have run home from California.  Oh, and heavens if you decide to take them on a walk!  They look at you like you have lost your ever-loving-mind!  You can hear them thinking, "If you think you are going to hook me up to a leash and drag my furry tail all over the neighborhood...even if the temperature has dropped into the mid 90s, you obviously are new here....I will stay right here on this A/C vent, thank you very much."  And there they lay, until pretty much 10 or 11 PM when apparently they deem it acceptable to enter nature.

Now, I grew up in Georgia, with no Central A/C but I swear the minute I moved out my parents installed the ice-cap of central A/C units.  It was probably some kind of crazy 60's influenced parenting trick to make me tougher....well, all it made me was hawt (and somewhat suspicious of their parenting techniques...my brother STILL lived at home at the time....coincidence?  I think not!)  I suppose the only good thing that came out of it is I did learn to how important setting spray was to keeping my make up in place and how you need just the right kind of hairspray to truly fight humidity.  It is easy to spot those who never learned those particular lessons (i.e. northerners who have just moved down south.) I will admit those are important skills to possess...but I wouldn't have minded a little A/C love growing up either. 

P.S. I am still not ready for Fall.

Have I mentioned I am a Single Mom?



So, have I mentioned it a time or two...that I am a single Mom?  Maybe not, because I don't really like the label.  I never wanted the label but the court system and an ex-husband decided it should be my new label. I didn't get a say in it, just got it slapped on my forehead.  In all honesty, it has taken me about 3 years to adjust to the title.  Now, I just say it....

Anyway, the purpose of this post is not to lament being a Single Mom, though we can do that some other time if you like.  The purpose of this post is to ask other Single Moms, "What is your most challenging logistical part of single parenting?" 

For me it is dinner time! I seriously hate grocery shopping, not to mention finding time to do said errand and then the heart attack at the register.  See why I would just rather ignore it?  But, I can't...as hard as I have tried I can't.  First, I have finally realized how much my kids miss a Mom who cooks and that really hit me hard in the [Mom Fail] department. Secondly, I can't afford to eat out continually and I know it isn't the healthiest approach to life.  So, those two reasons  have given rise to find the motivation to try to bring my kids back to the table for meals, even if they are a bit on the late side if I come rolling in from work at 7:00 PM.  I think it is good for us to eat together and not scattered through the house or in front of the TV.  It is a nice time to at least make some connection in a non threatning environment.  I miss that family time and I am making a determined effort to bring it back for myself, but also for my boys...they need that Mom who cooks! 

So what is your Single Mom Challange???

Father's Day 2013

Father's Day 2013 hasn't been a traditional celebration.  I didn't cook a special meal.  We didn't even go out for lunch after church or anything.  Because we are in the final days before our move, we spent the majority of the day after church tying up loose ends before our movers arrive tomorrow to pack. My Dh got to do glamorous  things like loading his truck down with all kinds of things that the movers won't move and he also gets the wonderful task of transporting our 2 cats during his 4 hour drive back to Edenton today.  Yes, I know that makes me out to be wife of the year...

But, I can't let the day go by without shouting out how much I love him and how proud I am to be his wife and what a GREAT Daddy he is.  The past few months haven't been easy and he has had to make some decisions that were difficult, but he made the choices he thought were best for our family and I love him for that.  He is a husband and father that demonstrates servant-leadership daily.  He is kind and strong and we are so blessed by him every single day.  Happy Father's Day, my dear sweet husband!!!!

In other news, we had a final Sunday with our church family which was  bitter sweet because it is never easy to say goodbye to family, but we are so glad to have these people in our lives...if only for too short a season.  So, all in all, we are ready to move though we will never forget the sweet friends we have in Florence, South Carolina!  Keep checking back as I share our adventures in our new home, Edenton, North Carolina!

Boys...

Rearing boys is hard.  I mean they are these wonderful little creatures that are so filled with emotions (both good and bad) that sometimes they just seem to just burst with something so powerful that it can be overwhelming for them and those of us who love them.  When a little (or big) boy loves he can love with such intensity that it can hurt just watching him express it and when a little boy is angry that intensity can be the same.  

I have reared a girl, so I know girls can be hard as well…but these boys keep me bewildered most of the time.  I am parenting by myself a lot as my husband travels, so I am really having to stretch and try to see what I need to teach and where I need to push without crushing their spirits.  I know God created these young men in a very unique way to fulfill His plans…I just have to try to make sure that I build up the foundation that will help them in what God has planned for them…and that can be hard.  My idea of how things should be is distinctly feminine so I have to try to see it from the male side of the room. 
 

Boys can be rough, they can be rowdy and bawdy but they can also be soft, sweet, and so protective.  They live in a world that bombards them with conflicting messages about what manhood should be.  All at once they get messages that they should be tough and fearless and then the next thing they are inundated with the message that they must be sensitive and intuitive.  It is hard to be a boy today.  Even as a parent I find myself often sending mixed messages about being brave and bold but not too brave and not too bold.  So many settings that are designed for children aren’t designed for the energy, creativity and unique perspective of boys.  

Nothing must be more torturous that to take a 6 year old boy and tell him to sit quietly for hours on end.  But, I have done it.  I have expected my boys to tolerate situations with quiet manners that I am not sure my husband could even tolerate.  I have pushed them when I should have just let them find their own way.  I am sure I have embarrassed them more than once and I am sure I will again with my “Momminess.” 

But they say, nothing worth doing is easy…and rearing boys is not easy but so very worth it

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 16-29

30 Days of Thanksgiving

Day 16-29, 2012:  Oh my, I haven't done very well with my daily posting!  (But rest assured I have focused on what I am thankful for and spent more time IRL on that than in the virtual world sharing about it!)  It has been a crazy, busy month and I think this morning is the 1st time I have felt I had time to sit down and share. 

This year, I am acutely aware of how much I am thankful for my youngest DS.  We started this year not knowing what the future held for him (not that we know that now...but you know what I mean!)  If you don't know the back story you may want to start reading HERE  In the last 12 months I have witnessed his very close brush with death and more seizures.  Then walked with him down the path through some scary months of doctor's visits, tests and a major lifestyle change.  It hasn't been easy, but honestly, it hasn't been hard.  When faced with a very somber reality and what possibilities it brings into your life, it is amazing what strength God gives you to change.  I don't know that I have slept through the night in over 10 months but I don't resent that...I am so thankful to have the opportunity to check up on an alive, sleeping child. 

There have been some very poignant moments of thanks where he is concerned this past year, some of them big and some of them small, but none insignificant.  When he walked on stage to perform at his piano recital, I sent up prayers of thanksgiving that he was fully functioning.  When baseball season rolled around, I was astounded that we found ourselves sitting on the bleachers...there were many months that we didn't think that would ever happen again and I was in tears of thanksgiving.  When Mother's Day rolled around and he was there.... I felt thankfulness beyond compare. During the summer days spent swimming in the pool...I was thankful for each and every moment. When flag football season started and I got to see him take up his spot at quarterback I felt thankfulness that was overwhelming. 

The last few months have clarified so much in my heart and mind and put life in a perspective that I "knew" but had never had to live with each of my children.  Considering how much I know now about what we are dealing with ...seizure disorders...Epilepsy....I am so very aware of how blessed we are.  I have met so many families that are carrying a much heavier burden and that gives me pause for gratitude daily.  So, I thank God every single day for my children and husband because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, HE is the reason I am blessed to share life with them.

I am also immensely thankful for my handsome husband.  He is a great husband and a wonderful father.  I and so grateful for his patience, love and how he takes care of our family. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for in the marriage department and I count those blessings every day!

I know that even though my 30 Days of Thanksgiving posting was not as consistent as I had planned, I am still very filled with gratitude for all the blessings in my life each day....and for a Savior who made it so.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;

Praise him, all creatures here below;

Praise him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen

`~Thomas Ken, The Common Doxology

Funny Memories..."the other one"

Last night I started thinking about something that happened in our family about 6 years ago and then I remembered that I had blogged about it (and I am so glad it did!) It was one of those parenting moments when you know that God has a huge sense of humor and continually reminds us (HIS children) of how little control we truly have...even when, as parents, we think we have it going on!  So, in honor of a humbling parental moment (and how much it still makes me laugh) I thought I would repost this:

Reposted from "Meet The Other One" June 6, 2006

No, I am not being cruel to my youngest child...he is, the “other one”.

This whole other one business started on New Years Day. My dear husband and I decided we were not happy with the amount of sibling discord we were having in our home and decided to address it formally. We took our cues from some of the most well respected family therapist and experts and decided to have a “family meeting”. The children were called into the dining room and took their seats. My youngest child sat between his older siblings. The older two had a look of knowing dread. I think they assumed we were going to announce something hideous like I was having another baby!

Dear husband and I were trying to impart the “think of others first” type of mentality to these three little ones. I gave several examples of what that might look like: “let the other one wash their hands first”, “let the other one sit in the prized seat on the sofa”, “let the other one get the ball first”, etc. I really felt I was doing an extraordinary job imparting such wisdom and the world would be a better place because of it.

Then it happened...my dear, sweet, adorable youngest child interrupts. He literally raises both hands, palms down, out towards his brother and sister and very solemnly looks them straight in the eyes and says, “Now you know, I AM the other one.”

In case there was any doubt!
Meet the “other one”.

TV Tuesday... SuperNanny to the Rescue!

Yes, apparently after not writing about TV in over 5 years of blogging, I have now decided to write about it two weeks in a row!  I am just afraid to even consider what that may mean about my reality these days. 

Do you ever watch SuperNanny?  I do and for a really self serving reason; when I watch the show it makes me feel a whole lot better about my own kiddos. AND when we watch as a family my kids always tell me they are glad I am their Mom...isn't that reason enough to watch???  Is that mean?  Probably.  Though, I really like Jo and her no nonsense approach to family life and that she seems to call out parents on their lack of parenting and how they are responsible for the atmosphere and climate of their own home.  Often, on the show, Jo touches on more than child behavior and addresses the adults in the situation even more than the children and she isn't afraid to call it as she sees it.  I imagine her help goes a lot farther than just making the kids get into bed on time. 

Anyway, I read today that SuperNanny is now casting for families in America! Do you know of anyone who could benefit from a little SuperNanny love and guidance? 

If you or a friend or family would like to be considered contact ShedMedia here for an application:  Be on SuperNanny!

Wonder if they take anonymous nominations???  heheheh...