This Kid...

I have some pretty great kids....like better than other people (yes, I just said better than other people...but I believe it...yep, I do.)  They each have their strengths and each has their unique talents and over the last few months they have all shown what amazing individuals they are but I just have to write about this kid today.  Now, don't get me wrong...I have, at one time or another, written about my other children but tonight he is on my heart.  He is my baby, though by the looks of this photo, baby probably isn't the right word but I can blame it on the fact that his Mom isn't very tall so he looks really tall...right?

This kid has really been through the ringer the last few months, well, actually the last few years (check back here to read his back story) 
but he has really shown me what insight and what heart is, in a way I could have never expected from a child.  He has clarity about things that I, as an adult, can't wrap my brain around.  He has a heart that hurts for others in a way that I can only hope to have one day.  He also feels burdens that other kids (or adults for that matter) don't feel, which isn't always good.  He is struggling right now with a loss in his life that I can't fix for him but he still finds the ability to worry about me.  About me.... how did I get so blessed?  All my children worry about me, but this one...he watches and worries and I wish I could take that away.  He is too young for that kind of weight. 

I was sick recently and this kid gets up and fixes breakfast for he and his older brother before school, without being asked, because I couldn't.  He just did it...including vitamins.  He is just that kind of a kid.  I am grasping at straws in so many ways in trying to figure out how to parent my young men on my own but moments like this...they are like a jolt to my soul.   Someone told me today that I had to be and could be both Mother & Father....and here I am with my little man leading the way.   So, as I look ahead, I hope one day he will know exactly what an amazing young man he is.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, 

coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

~James 1:17

Boys...

Rearing boys is hard.  I mean they are these wonderful little creatures that are so filled with emotions (both good and bad) that sometimes they just seem to just burst with something so powerful that it can be overwhelming for them and those of us who love them.  When a little (or big) boy loves he can love with such intensity that it can hurt just watching him express it and when a little boy is angry that intensity can be the same.  

I have reared a girl, so I know girls can be hard as well…but these boys keep me bewildered most of the time.  I am parenting by myself a lot as my husband travels, so I am really having to stretch and try to see what I need to teach and where I need to push without crushing their spirits.  I know God created these young men in a very unique way to fulfill His plans…I just have to try to make sure that I build up the foundation that will help them in what God has planned for them…and that can be hard.  My idea of how things should be is distinctly feminine so I have to try to see it from the male side of the room. 
 

Boys can be rough, they can be rowdy and bawdy but they can also be soft, sweet, and so protective.  They live in a world that bombards them with conflicting messages about what manhood should be.  All at once they get messages that they should be tough and fearless and then the next thing they are inundated with the message that they must be sensitive and intuitive.  It is hard to be a boy today.  Even as a parent I find myself often sending mixed messages about being brave and bold but not too brave and not too bold.  So many settings that are designed for children aren’t designed for the energy, creativity and unique perspective of boys.  

Nothing must be more torturous that to take a 6 year old boy and tell him to sit quietly for hours on end.  But, I have done it.  I have expected my boys to tolerate situations with quiet manners that I am not sure my husband could even tolerate.  I have pushed them when I should have just let them find their own way.  I am sure I have embarrassed them more than once and I am sure I will again with my “Momminess.” 

But they say, nothing worth doing is easy…and rearing boys is not easy but so very worth it

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 15

Day 15, 2012:  Today (and always) I am thankful for my oldest son.  Almost 16 years ago he came into my life and just turned it upside down and for that I am grateful.  He has stretched me as a person and shown me so much about myself through my reactions with him. Being a "mom of boys" has really challenged me and taught me sides to life I had no idea existed!   

DS1 is compassionate, smart, strong,  handsome, funny and loves God.  I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be a part of his life and that I get to watch as God's story for him unfolds....he has big things ahead. 

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

James 1:17 (ESV)

Please join me in celebrating 30 Days of Thanksgiving by leaving a comment and sharing what you are thankful for today!