Peace is what I want more than anything...

Peace by Sarah Young on FaithGateway

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we were discussing plans for last night and I mentioned that more than anything I needed a distraction.  During this season I am not living in the place of peace that allows me to just enjoy the silence.  The silence in my life is deafening, so I fill it with distractions.  The needs from other people are paralyzing so I find a distraction. I can't wait to arrive in that season of peace where silence is golden and feeling settled and calm is the norm.  So this morning, this was my devotional, and it couldn't have been more timely because I know my mind is constantly churning trying to figure out answers to things that don't make sense (that never will,) and through my agitation I give peace no where to land.

Peace
by Sarah Young, from Jesus Calling
The Peace that I give you transcends your intellect.
When most of your mental energy goes into efforts to figure things out, you are unable to receive this glorious gift. I look into your mind and see thoughts spinning round and round: going nowhere, accomplishing nothing. All the while, My Peace hovers over you, searching for a place to land.
Be still in My Presence, inviting Me to control your thoughts.
Let My Light soak into your mind and heart, until you are aglow with My very Being. This is the most effective way to receive My Peace.
2 Thessalonians 3:16; Job 22:21

Single Girl Can Cook: Rustic Fresh Peach Tart...

Last night was one of those "single girl" firsts...I had friends over for the first time to my new home. I opened my doors as just me...single.  It was strange because as a couple my husband and I loved to entertain and have a house full of people. We actually bought our last house because we knew it would be perfect for having parties! Doing it alone was just....I don't know.....just....

Needless to say, with the turmoil that has surrounded my life over the last year, I haven't done much entertaining or baking.  I used to love it. I especially loved trying new recipes, particularly when friends were coming over! I am not sure they ever knew how much they were my guinea pigs for new recipes. So....for last night I was determined to try at least one new thing and it turned out great if I do say so myself.  It was also easy, which put my nervous self at ease.  After DS2 and I went to the Farmer's Market and picked up some fresh peaches (they are just coming into season!) I made a Rustic Fresh Peach Tart which was topped liberally with whipped cream before serving.  It is definitely a keeper and I will be making it again! I actually made 2 of these to make sure we had enough.

Rustic Peach Tart

For each tart you will need:

1 Ready to use refrigerated pie crust
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
2 large fresh peaches, peeled & sliced (about 2 cups)
Whipped Cream

• Preheat oven to 400.
• Unroll pie crust on foil covered baking pan that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.
• Combine sugar & cinnamon.
• Mix 1 Tablespoon sugar mixture into softened cream cheese.
• Spread cream cheese to within 2 inches of edge of crust.
• Reserve 1 Tablespoon of sugar mixture.
• Toss peaches with remaining sugar mixture and spoon over cream cheese mixture.
• Fold over edge of crust, overlapping peaches just a little.  
• Sprinkle remaining sugar mixture over tart.
• Bake 25 minutes or until crust is golden and fruit juices are bubbling.   
• Cool slightly before removing from baking sheet.
• Top with whip cream before serving!  Enjoy!!!!

Rustic Fresh Peach Tart

Memorial Day 2014

Early this morning, before I went to work, I went to our city's Veterans Park.  It seemed fitting.  I was actually the only one there and it was beautiful, quiet and peaceful. I said a prayer for the families of those who gave their lives for our great nation, a prayer of thanks for all those who have served and also those still in harm's way....just so we can have  this amazing thing called freedom.

I am so thankful for the brave men and women who have uttered and upheld this oath: "I, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

Stop trying...

In our world today to "stop trying" seems like the antithesis to everything our culture is about.  Nike would probably like to shoot me just for uttering the words.  We live in this world where we are supposed to always try to out best our best, not to mention the best of everyone else.  Competition, continual busyness, winning is the way of the day.  Striving to make your self happy and content is what it is all about, the only thing worth trying for.

I had to give up on something though and it was hard; not necessarily "give up" but stop trying.  I had no choice.  I had to resign myself to what is...whether I wanted it or not.  I just had to let go.  I had to...stop...trying. 

There is a verse that I have always loved, especially the first part, Psalm 46:10.  In all the versions I have read it was worded, "Be Still an know that I am God...." which was often a comfort when I felt life was crazy, loud and busy but I just read the New American Standard version and it really fell into the hole in my heart, ""Cease striving and know that I am God..."  Cease striving?  Doesn't that sound a lot like "stop trying" or "quit fighting" or "just let go?"  When taken out of context that sounds really wrong but for me, in this place, it was a gift.  God gave me that version to give me permission to just relax into His embrace and let it go..leave it to Him.. My soul is hurting, wanting, and needing, but for now I am going to cease striving and let Him hold me and make it OK. He says it is alright if I stop trying because HE is God and no matter what,  in the end "...  (HE) will be exalted among the nations,  (HE) will be exalted in the earth."  and I guess that is all that really matters.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; 

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

~Psalm 46:10 (NAS)

Belated Mother's Day Post

This post is a few days over due, but this week has had a few unexpected things happen and I had to work all day on Mother's Day so there was no time for blogging. I guess better late than never?  This year's Mother's Day was like all the holidays so far...it felt weird and there was a gap missing but I still know that I am overwhelmingly blessed by my 3 soon to be 4 because that includes includes my future son-in-law!

God gave me 3 amazing individuals to love, invest in and the wonderful opportunity to pour myself into their lives. Motherhood has been an amazing journey and a peek into Heaven for me.  I loved being pregnant, loved having babies and dreaded when each season ended because that took us one step closer to them being grown. I so wish I could pull them in close and breathe in that baby fragrance just one more time.

God also gave them each  huge hearts and they have been my rock over the last few months.  I am sure I would not have made it, if not for them and their unfailing love. I am so grateful for the gifts of their love.  Our family no long looks like it once did, and I never dreamed I would be a single Mom, and we are having to find new ways to navigate life, but they are my blessings beyond measure and I am so glad to have had them with me on Mother's Day.

"Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."

1 John 3:18

The Verse before....

We are pretty well versed in the standard  Philippians 4:6, aren’t we?  You know it is one of those oft quoted Bible verses that people tell you when your life is falling apart (trust me, I am becoming an expert on those…not that I don’t appreciate them, it is just sometimes I guess the translation gets lost in the pain.)  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ”~Philippians 4:5  I am to the point that I feel really bad but in my head when loving, well intentioned people tell me these wonderful things something happens and all I hear is yadda, yadda, yadda.  Yes, I may be struck dead immediately for admitting that so you might want to move a few seats away.  

 Today, though, when I thought about that verse I stopped and looked it up and was more struck by the verse that comes before it: “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”~Philippians 4:5.  I don’t think I have ever read it, heard it preached on or discussed at all for that matter.  Maybe I did, but I was making grocery lists in my head and missed it???  Who knows? But today that verse is the one that gave me peace.  I want to be gentle.  I want to be known as one who is gentle.  I want my Lord to know me as gentle and kind and good.  When people meet me, I want them to go away with a feeling of peace from our interaction.  I want to love like Christ loved, freely, openly, with no pretense or agenda other than to bring others to knowledge of a loving, forgiving God.  I want my Lord to be near and I want Him to know my gentleness. 

Even in the midst of this pain I want a gentle spirit.  I want that to be what people know about me…

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.
~John 15:13