It is almost here and it is time to take charge of you!

 

We are just a few days from the turning of a calendar page that will mark the beginning of another New Year. I thought when the calendar turned last year that maybe, just maybe we could breathe a sigh of relief.  I was wrong. I didn't think 2021 could outdo 2020 in shear stress, loss, fear, and plain out jumbling of life - but I was wrong.  I could write a post singularly on the things that went south in my life personally, not to mention so many people I care about, but I am not going to do that.

2022 is my year of hope, celebration, surpassing goals, and seeing personal success.  I am going to focus on what wonderful things I have.  This doesn't mean my life is perfect but it means I am going to find the perfection between the thorns. God has been so very good to me and I often forget that fact,  I am excited about what is to come.

I am going back to why I started blogging. I am going to celebrate life.  That includes my amazing, too good for me, husband. Why he loves me, I don't know but am so blessed he does.  Love after 50 is different and we are still technically newlyweds so I am sure I will share the struggles and triumphs of this season which includes blending families and lifestyles. My husband truly took a withered vine and nursed it back to health and continues to love me daily and helps me grow stronger.  He makes me feel like anything is possible. With him, by the way, his name is David, I have learned to dream and my creative spirit is being watered to life. Things I long had felt I lost the ability to do or the passion to pursue have bloomed and I am not afraid to share without shame. In a past life I was made to feel as if sharing the things that brought me joy was wrong and annoying, but the great thing I have learned is that it doesn't matter because it brings me pleasure.  I will be sharing the creation and evolving of our home and gardens, time with old and new friends, exploring food, entertaining and adventures...not to mention products I have tried, books I have read, life with children who are now young adults, and of course life with 3 big dogs.  Oh...and a liberal dose of fashion, shoes, and skincare/makeup just to round out life.

Transparency is a word I have often used in the blogging world but I am committed to it...the good, the bad, and the ugly - which, when you think about it is truly all part of the beautiful thing we call life.

Ultimately I have realized my greatest gift is that I am a Lifestyle Curator.  My greatest talent is helping to create lives that are not just beautiful on the outside but also the inside in the deepest part of one's heart.  We can have both and they can both be real and transparent.  You can be perfectly put together and have a day that is just off and that is okay. Tears are okay. A messy house is okay.  A beautiful life is one where you can be all those things and continue to strive for peace which is the basis of the ultimate beautiful life.

I love you for taking a few moments to read my words. Your comments mean more than you will ever know. I would very much like for you to leave a comment with your greatest hope for 2022. Let the best be yet to come!

Honeymoon...

 Have you ever wondered what the true meaning of Honeymoon is? Well, I am here to clarify it for you, along with Merriam-Webster Dictionary of course:

Definition of honeymoon 

1: a period of harmony immediately following marriage 2 : a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship 3 : a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple.

 I know you feel much better having a literal definition of honeymoon but I was actually thrilled to read it because if there is one thing I can say about my recent honeymoon...it  fit the definition absolutely perfect!

Of course, like everything else that had to do with our wedding, we were also planning a honeymoon in the time of Covid, which did present challenges that we turned into opportunities.  Originally, we had booked a trip out of the country but due to Passport Renewal delays, not to mention a little trepidation about leaving the country and possibly not being able to return if something spiked out of control made me a bit uneasy.  So, we moved to plan B, which came directly from my Pinterest Dream Vacations Board!  We chose a trip to Mackinac Island, which by the way...was perfect.

It gave us the wonderful feeling of having fallen off the grid but with luxury at every turn.  Even the weather was perfect with the warmest day hitting 80 degrees the first week in July.  We stayed at the most amazing, Mission Point Resort (please check out the photos as mine do not do it justice!), which met our every desire and, honestly, made us never want to leave.  There is absolutely too much about Mission Point to write about in this post but it was wonderful.

 After the crazy months leading up to this escape, Mackinac Island provide the perfect bubble to honeymoon.  It gave us time, just for us, to explore, play, relax, and just be us.  I could not have imagined a better beginning to my marriage to my best friend. It was all I could have dreamed and a sign of all the wonderful adventures to come!

A thing kind of happened...

I have been single for 6 years.  Yes, it has been hard but somewhere down the line you learn to accept it and life moves on.  You realize you have the freedom to make choices you  might not otherwise have been able to do...like move.  When 2019 was winding down I was planning to move away from Florence to parts unknown (well, I did know but you know what I mean!) and then God snuck a little wrinkle in my plan.

A friend I had known for several years through Rotary (who says Rotary Club isn't fun?) and I started hanging out.  We were literally just hanging out, because you know...I didn't want to get involved since it was only a few months until I moved away.  And them BAM, it happen, we were in a relationship...we even had the DTR talk and everything.  So move along a few weeks (yep, weeks) and I had one of the worst days as work...as in...it it stunk it up.  When I came home I peeled off my work clothes and switched into leggings and probably my oldest sweatshirt (I was a vision) and went to my sweet man's house.  I walked out into the field where he was walking his dogs and we down-loaded about work and headed back to his house.  When I walked in there was a gorgeous, huge bouquet of perfectly pink flowers and he told me they were for my "special day."  Special Day?  I leaned over to smell those wonderful flowers and turned around and there he was holding a box with a sparkly ring and asking me to marry him.  I was in awe...this handsome man who is so full of sweetness, love, fun, laughter, honesty, and integrity was asking me...YES ME, to marry him! No one has ever surprised me more. Of course, I had to say yes...it was love.  

Oh, and that box does have a light in it...to be continued.

She Got Married!

I don't think it could have been a more perfect day for my bestie to have gotten married.  It was beautiful, clear and the perfect temperature...even our famous humidity minded it's own business! 

 She and I did get one last hurrah together and spent her wedding day, just the two of us.  We went to a very bitter-sweet lunch, then had her hair done and got her dressed and all the details just so.  Of course, then it was off to the venue for photos and lots of nerves but happy ones!

It was a small, intimate, but elegant ceremony and their love for each other was felt by everyone.

 Cupcakes instead of a big wedding cake!  So Cute!

Can't you just see how happy she is and he is truly a gem.

I wish them a lifetime of joy and happiness full of new adventures.





Bachlorette Fun!

I can't believe it but my girl of girls is getting married.  She and I became unlikely friends, partly due to  a tattoo that I just knew stood in the way of our friendship, several years ago when we were both in the throws of life changes and lots of pain.  Maybe it was a kindred spirit kind of thing because God brought us together at a time when we each felt no one else on the face of the earth could possibly understand the pain we were going through.  We walked the path of newly single together, learned the ups and down of single Motherhood to boys, shared the war stories of dating in this season of life.  We cried together...sometimes for her family, sometimes for mine and sometimes for both.

She would be the friend that I left the USA with for the first time in my life.  She was the friend with whom I will never forget the hours of talking we did late at night as we sat on the balcony of a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean and laughed and talked and opened ourselves up as only soul sisters can.  We have shared countless hours of retail therapy and shared quite a few clothes as well (another kindred love we share!)  We have been each other's "wingman," movie date, Walking Dead buddies and shared holidays during those first years when our fractured families were trying to figure it out. We have chased the loneliness out of each other's life more times that I can count. Even though it didn't always feel like it, when we got together, we knew we were going to get through another day. We walked through court proceedings, financial crisis' and  financial classes together and grew up. Yes, it was hard...but we did it.

Now, we are celebrating her upcoming nuptials to one amazing man.  They met at a work conference last year and fell head over heals.... totally and quickly.  I am so happy for her that she has found a Godly, devoted, caring and handsome man to walk the rest of this life's path with...but a little sad too.  She will be moving to his home state in June...an airplane ride away.  I am selfish and cry a little each time I think about it.  I am so happy that she has found her "true North."  I wish them a lifetime of joy, memories and more love than they can contain. But even more than that, I am so thankful to have had her by my side during the wild ride of the last few years.

Thank you, God, for the angel with the "questionable" tattoo!

Sparkle has not left the house!

 

Yes, I disappeared!  It has been a crazy couple of months filled with football, fun with friends & work. We have had so much dreary weather I have been in kind of a funk so I have focused a lot of work.Work is good in that way.  I can dive in and hide behind it while my mind doesn't have time to dwell. . 

  

Oh, and if you are wondering...it is STILL raining in South Carolina....STILL.  That has not helped my funk one single bit.  There are areas where people have still not be able to return to their homes from the flooding weeks ago.  I think it is the general consensus in SC that WE ARE SICK OF RAIN!

 

But, I am not loosing my sparkle again....just spending some time polishing it up.

Healing after Infidelity...

This is a battle my heart still goes through.  Not because I have love left for my ex-spouse but because I have so much love for my family and the true meaning of marriage.  I love the joy and comfort of someone who holds your heart and soul as if it were a precious, irreplaceable gem.  I love the bond that marriage represents and the security it gives children.  Marriage can represents the closest thing to the love of God we will feel this side of Heaven I am sure. Although I am often faced with the question of "why did you stay?" in an almost accusatory tone, as if I caused all the infidelities; the only answer I have is I loved my husband and I was given a glance of him, by the grace of God, to see him the way God saw him.  Even after so many betrayals I still loved and it was hard fought to give up that love.  I have come along way and can honestly say the love has gone but I still hurt and I still grieve.  Through all this, though,  I came across another blog post by a young woman who has bared her soul and the challenges of infidelity and divorce through her blog with a grace that I can only hope to have one day.  I have learned so much from her.  Please visit her post "How to Heal After Infidelity" and let her know where you found her:  How to Heal After Infidelity.  Make sure also, to share it with anyone who might be helped by her worlds. 

I was Divorced on Friday.

Friday was the day.  The day when my husband took me into a court room and divorced me.  I have spent the last year praying it would never happen. I can not even begin to tell you how many people have actively gotten on their knees an prayed over us and him.  I have prayed he would choose to love me again and come home to our family...but he didn't.  He has moved on an did it a long time ago.  Our 26 years of marriage and 30 years together were nothing.  During the proceedings he never looked at me, afterwards when I sat alone in my car crying he chose to walk by and not acknowledge me or see if I was OK.  That is when I realize what I really must mean to him. 

 

But, that isn't the way I felt for him all those years.  I loved him more than life itself and gave him everything I had to give. I was far from perfect but I gave him all my heart, devotion an adoration and believed his words and actions.  I believed in a God that had created us for each other an ordained our family as His. Now...I don't know. I truly believed we were created for each other because God knew the issues we would face and he made us so that we would weather the storms until my husband gave up. I don't even know what I believe anymore.

 

The saddest thing. though, is how his choices have destroyed what was once a happy, whole family that loved each other.  Now the bonds are broken...between Mother & Daughter, Sister & Brother, Brothers, Father & Son.  We are just the rubble of what once was. Rubble he never has to see. We paid for his choices in our pain. But he is happy and whole.

 

I realize many people will feel I shouldn't have written this post but it has been a long time since I have felt brave enough to write about us, our family, our marriage.  I am feeling braver now and maybe that is a good sign.  Maybe it is a sign of healing within myself, maybe it is growth, maybe I have had my eyes opened to reality, maybe it is just done. I haven't cried all weekend because the man that sat in that courtroom I did not know, and did not want to know....so maybe love does go away.

 

If you have a wife or a husband and/or children, hug them a little tighter, a little longer with a little more intention because it can all be gone in a blink of an eye. Choose to love, even if it is just choosing to love living today just a little more! :-)

 

An Open Letter to Husbands & Dads....

 

Photo from Chad Stutzman: A Word to Husbands

An Open Letter to Husbands and Dads,

I am a single Mom whose husband chose a different life than that of husband and father so I feel uniquely qualified to write to men (do any even read this blog?) as we near Father’s Dad.  Also, many of you read my “An Open Letter toWives” so I think I should balance the scales a bit.  I believe in the joy and gift of marriage and family so I hope somehow, somewhere these words will help build, repair or just brighten a relationship that might need a little attention.

Our culture isn’t very pro-family, pro-marriage or pro-commitment.  It screams at every chance “grab what you want” “you deserve this or that” “make yourself happy!” Please, men…if you are on that fence, jump down.   If you have already walked to the greener grass, have the courage to walk back and build a foundation that will support your children and family for generations to come. If you are just going through the motions and not feeling the contentment that you should feel,  open your hearts to the family you have been gifted and let God give you a love for them that is beyond anything you could have ever created yourself.  Don’t let the miracle slip through your fingers.  Let yourself fall in love with your wife and your children…let yourself fall inexplicably, undeniably in love with the gift God has created. Just for you.

 

As cliché as it, loving your wife is the greatest gift you can give your children. It sets them up for a lifetime of how to love.  Look at that woman who God created for you and remember what that first kiss felt like, and why you fell in love with her in the first place. Each day tell her something lovely about herself, remind her that you chose HER.  Take down the walls we all build up and walk to her side (even if she isn’t willing) and let God pour into your marriage.  Let yourself fall in love like never before and love with abandon like there is no tomorrow. 

You are a man, created by God, and He created you to love and lead your family and your rewards will far outweigh whatever short term pleasure you see in life on the other side of the fence.

Signed,

Used to be a Wife

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,"

 Ephesians 5:25

An Open Letter to Wives....

An Open Letter to Wives,
 

I am now, after 25+ years, without a husband.  He walked away.  I was not a perfect wife and I have so many regrets.  One of those regrets is not embracing, loving and celebrating the seasons and the man God created for me.  There are so many things I miss and so many things I wish I had said and done differently.  I see couples now and I want to whisper into the wife’s ear…love him; the season can be gone in a flash.  Don’t put it on the back burner.  Don’t let life get in the way…love him. Hug him, hold him, breathe him in.

Your husband might not walk away like mine did, but you never know what today holds and how quickly he could be gone.  I have watched so many sweet souls mourn the lose of their husbands to death.  No matter how long you have been married, adore him, let him know how much your respect him and his judgment, build him up.  Be his soft place to land when life attacks.  Don’t let a day, or even a moment go by, that he doesn’t feel wanted and loved.  Let God show you how to love him beyond your ability and to pour into your heart a super natural love, full of mercy and grace.  Forgive; continually remember why you fell in love with him and show him your heart and learn his.   

Our culture doesn't reward that kind of devotion but I can assure you it will pay rewards far beyond anything today's world can bring.

Trust me when I say, the season can go too quickly.

Signed,

Used to be a Wife

 "And so train the young women to love their husbands and children,"

 Titus 2:4

Don't let it come too late...

Something is really weighing on me today (whoohoo, surprise!!!) I don’t understand something about our culture, individually, and as whole.  What has happened to us?  When did we morph into a world where a person’s word means nothing and we seek our own pleasure and to intentionally hurt others openly with total disregard? When did we become a generation of men and women who can’t control ourselves to the point it doesn’t matter what happens past our own desires. When did we become a people that will choose to sacrifice others on the altar of “my own needs/wants?”  I KNOW there have always been people like that…but what I don’t understand is why don’t individuals realize that their personal choices are impacting our world…not just their little corner?  When did “ME” become so important?

I believe we have an enemy.  I believe there is a God, and in turn believe there is a Satan and on a very individual level we are responsible for letting him lose or gain ground.  Not even looking at the bigger picture of the world, if you only listen to the news in your own town, you will hear of those whose individual choices left devastation.  The most recent Fort Hood shooter destroyed so many lives…including his own family.  Yes, his choice will forever affect hisfamily too, and the friends and families of his many other victims.  His grandchildren will still know the reminders of those choices.  His wife and children, along with each and every family he stole someone from, will forever hurt from this one incident.  Why? 

Maybe our individual bad choices aren’t literally killing others but they do set the death trap for Satan to make the kill.  My bad choices don’t have to be something as dramatic as being a shooter on a military base, but they do come down to each choice, every day. I am going through a divorce, that is not right in any sense of the word and not of my choosing, and it does color my view as I am seeing these things up close and personal; but I am overwhelmed with how callused we, as individuals, have become to the pain we cause others and how we refuse to accept the responsibility for our choices or refuse to make different ones if they might cause us to be personally uncomfortable, have a little pain or just not provide us with the exact pay out we desire.  Maybe I shouldn’t write these words because I am as guilty as anyone else.   Satan was allowed to destroy my marriage, so he destroyed a family, and in turn, in a way he destroys a church, then he destroys a community, and he destroys future generations.  It has been handed him on a silver platter.  The keys to the gate of protection have been handed over and the invitation issued, “Come on in and take what you like.” 

If I don’t take captive every thought and every choice, I am personally responsible for surrendering my family and a little bit more of this world to an enemy who has come to devour it.   I am not perfect, and have caused pain but the very clear truth is the only way to make anything better in this world is to keep trying and keep focusing on the true Word of God and a Savior named Jesus, that died just so that we might have life.  Look at what is right and what is true in the face of Christ and keep striving…perfection is not is required…just progress...and through His forgiveness He offers us that every day.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

 ~Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV)