How 5 years can change the world...

Today is a day when I need to write, need to spill words out somewhere. Emotions are thick and my mind swirls with thoughts, memories, dreams and questions.  Today is a day that brings me haunting memories and also great blessings. 

5 years ago, I almost lost one of my children.  I don't mean there was a close call, I mean I saw the life leaving his body as he lay on the ground among wet, cold, muddy leaves.  I still can remember what his blue face looked like and  the awful gurgling that came from his lungs as his life slipped away.  They say time heals all things...no, it doesn't. These are the haunting memories.

I know that God reached down and breathed life into my dying child that cold, rainy day.  There is no other explanation. Today, that same child, went alone for hours exploring with our dog.  Tonight he went to the movies with his big brother.  Just a moment ago he towered almost 9 full inches over me as he reach down to hug me and tell me he loved me and good night. He is now upstairs reading something way over my head.  Those are the great blessings. 

I stood at the sea shore today, something I promise myself I will do more of each year and I don't. I needed to go today to seek the magical healing of the waves and the salt air.  I am not sure if I found that healing but I did find my heart feeling more than I would have liked and my reserves pushed. I was looking for something...it wasn't there.  I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I head into 2017 in many ways the same as last year, though my thoughts and feelings are clearer.  The last few days of 2016 will be spent recalibrating myself and my heart and fortifying my foundation.

Today reminded me to hold onto what is true and solid, focusing on God's great gifts. I have learned that life is not kind but still there is so much to be thankful for and I am living thankfully...in all circumstances. If you find yourself walking the seashore you may very well find me there again staring out and seeking before the year truly ends. Hold on....

Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalm 25:5 (NIV)

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

I hope this finds you having celebrated a day full of family, friends and food.  Mostly, though, I hope you have had time to feel thankful for all the good in your life and our world.  This is my final Thanksgiving Thankfulness recap but I am committed to Living Thankfully past today.  It is so easy to forget all the little blessings when the world seem to throw big problems and roadblocks in our way every day. 

Thankfulness Recap:

Thankfulness, Day 16: I am thankful for God's unfailing protection, mercy and grace.
Thankfulness, Day 17: thankful for this...

Thankfulness, Day 18: I am so thankful it is Friday!!!!
Thankfulness, Day 19: I am thankful for the great people Florence Little Theatre and what a great job they did on To Kill a Mockingbird!
Thankfulness, Day 20: I am thankful when something comes along to remind me of how important it is to discern what is important in life and to grab hold of Faith in all things.
Thankfulness, Day 21: I am thankful for forgiveness and from it, the freedom God has given, and the healing He provides.
Thankfulness, Day 22: today I am really thankful for talented writers and speakers who help me grow. This book in particular is amazing: Fervent by Priscilla Shirer.
Thankfulness, Day 23: Being #thankful for the challenges and striving to continue #LivingThankful long after #thanksgiving has passed. #GodisGood
Thankfulness, Day 24: This morning my house is quiet except for the clicking of claws as the fur babies move about and I can't help but be thankful for the small blessings in my life. I pray for all of us a spirit of peace, contentment in all things...the big and small, the happy and the painful, the mountain tops and the valleys.

Live Thankfully🍂🍁

Happy 2016!!! Let your Sparkle Shine!

Happy New Year.  After blogging for 10 years on my other blog I am apparently having trouble truly getting started again and immersing myself in the blogging culture that provides so much inspiration and motivation to write and share.  Maybe it is due in part to the very fact that I am learning who I am again, slowly...and finally, bit by bit, remembering what I loved when I started to journal online.  This rediscovery is not painless and is not a quick process in the least, but I am accepting it with as much grace as possible and find myself sometimes surprised and what I have loved and forgotten.  There are things that brought me complete and total happiness that I just stopped remembering as I stumbled through painful and stormy days in the last couple of years.  It is hard to imagine how much of your heart and soul you can let go of and never realize it. 

 Of course, maybe it is because I don't have the many friends and family who used to read my blog to help keep me involved that I don't turn here as much; but I suppose that is part of a new start as well.  I am able to come here, and rediscover my muse (or what little of it is left.)  I have no idea if anyone reads this blog or not so in some ways there is no pressure to produce or be the face that had be painted by my earlier blog.  I am able to completely transparent...a rare thing in life. 

I have done a lot of thinking over the last few weeks and I do know I want to be the lady I once was, through and through.  I want to be able to see beauty in weeds and good in people.  I want to give of myself without fear and unselfishly.  I want to see my children and sometimes feel the love that overwhelms you and brings you to tears for no reason other than pure love.  I want a clear mind and heart that is open to new adventures, old and new friends. I want to the strength and motivation to pour into others.  Most of all, though, I want prayer and God in the center of my life regardless of the circumstances.  I want God's best in my life in all ways.  That is probably as close to a "resolution for the New Year" as you will get from me this year.  This year is about living, truly living through the dark and the light and I don't have a resolution... just a determination. 

Happy New Year, blogland!