What a week....

This week has not be the easiest of weeks.  My oldest son is moving out to find life on his own and heading to a new college, several hours away, in a week or so. He has been staying with friends this week and the last of his stuff will be gone on Sunday. He is actually moving out and not just to college. It is a change of season. He is going to be fine. I love him and know he wants to take on life on his own terms but as a Mom my emotions have been all over the place due to many issues.  At the very least, I can say  it is has been rocky.

Also, I am not sure if I  mentioned it, but my company phased out all Field Management within the organization at the end of June, so for the last month I have been on the roller coaster ride of unemployment.  It has meant countless hours of looking for a job, sending resumes, contacting everyone I know and fortunately interviews. It has also meant a huge weight of stress and fighting fear about the future.  This is not my favorite part of doing life alone!  I was sad to see my job go (not just for the obvious reasons!) but because I truly loved what I did and loved the people I worked with and for. I miss working with all of the sweet souls I met, but at least now I can count them as friends and not co-workers.  Either way, you can imagine this month/week has been a challenge to my sense of equilibrium and peace. 

Losing my job sent me into a real tailspin emotionally, especially since I was unaware of how invested I was in my job.  So, without it, I lost some traction, direction and a great deal of security.  Trust me when I say I have had to pray over this one.  I am praying God places me where HE wants me and that I don't run ahead of him out of fear (something I am particularly good at!) 

Strangely enough, being unemployed also has taken a toll on my school focus. Being a full time college student and working full time was not easy but somehow it worked; maybe it was the firmer schedule?  Originally I thought, "Wow, I will be able to take some time and really focus on school and just buzz through this class!" Not so, actually it has been harder to get school work done because every time I sit down at the computer I feel the need to look for a job, send a resume,  etc.  So, tonight, on this exciting and beautiful Friday night...I am writing a paper.  Whooohooo....I can feel the jealously through the screen here. 

So, I guess this is my whiny....#betransparent post of the week.  I would appreciate prayers, if you are so inclined, for my family as we transition into our new season and that what ever God is trying to teach me I will learn and it will grow me into a better person.