Thursday, January 20, 2011

Looking backwards...Part 1

Wow. I am reeling from an Identity Crisis. Today I was invited to attend the birthday party of a friend’s preschooler (which was scheduled during lunch on a Thursday…yes, it has been a few years since I have done THAT. Now, I have to schedule kid’s activities during the evenings and weekends when they suck up our limited family time). My identity as a young, hip, prepster Mom was firmly intact (or the delusion of that identity was intact rather) before the party. I started my day normally, getting my boys to school (3rd and 8th graders respectively), and then I came home, wrote and submitted a book review, dashed by the toy store to pick up a gift on the way to the party…only to arrive and have my illusions crash around me.

When I arrived there were these kids all playing joyfully in the back yard of my friend’s house… complete with bouncy house, swing set, piƱata; and then there were their Moms. Yes, Moms of preschoolers… you know, they have this vague, almost fearful glint in their eyes from being overwhelmed, because they haven’t slept a full 6 hours in over 2 years and have only been alone for intervals of 88 seconds at a time (well, if you consider being on the other side of a closed bathroom door from your screaming toddler, alone). They wonder if they will ever read another book, much less be alone with their husbands, without having to pay someone…especially in their own house ever again, and question why they even bothered to go to college. I know that season very well, I lived it fully for 15 years (YES, 15 years due to the spacing of my 3 children!).

There in that clear afternoon sunlight, I didn’t have to juggle feeding a toddler, watching a manic preschooler, checking the clock for school pick up time and carry on a conversation…all at the same time. I didn’t have to worry about the inevitable bouncy house nose bleed (‘cause you know it isn’t a party until someone bleeds) or if my off spring would remember to get to the potty before the actual event occurred. I wasn’t concerned about nap times. My mind wandered to who I was having coffee with in the morning, if my college age child was driving too fast and when my husband and I were going dancing again.

I was the only one there without a kid! The most surprising part, I was glad. See, I have mentioned to my husband several times lately, that I might like to have “another one”, but today I came face to face with the fact that I don’t. This reality hit me in the face like a brick. Honestly, this “new season” of life has been creeping up on me for a while, but as my identity crumbled in the middle of all that preschool joy, I looked around and wondered why there was no wine at this party….

Part 1
Weekend Bloggy Reading


  1. Ha!! You pretty much summed up my existence in two sentences...except for the sleeping part. I'm a mean mom who sticks to bedtimes and "cry it out." ;)

  2. Too funny Michelle. A wise woman you are. There is a season for everything.

  3. Hi Bella-

    Love the vintage Barbie - I think she is as old as me - 1959 Edition? I too, would be wondering where the wine was.
    My best- Diane

  4. I *ADORE* this post! My children are almost completely out of that, too, and I feel so *free* and *myself* - no longer a frantic zombie. I refuse to go back!!! :-D

  5. Thank God. No more. We're enough. And thank you for recognizing my nose-bled fears of bouncy houses!!!

  6. Seriously, no wine? We always used to say that there was a reason they serve beer at Chuck E. Cheese.

    I'm with you, don't miss it at all, just miss being "young and cool"....although how you do that with spit up on your sweatshirt, I'm not sure. Maybe it was all part of a sleep deprivation illusion. And I am NOT ready for grandchildren!

  7. oh boy! you hit the nail on the head with lack of sleep and no time to yourself!

  8. Visiting from the Serenity Now blog party...Wow, I'm currently pregnant with my first baby, so you showed me what all I have to look forward to! :) I know it definitely won't all be butterflies and rainbows but we are very excited for this new chapter...lack of sleep, no alone time, preschool parties, and all! But I'm sure every stage of parenting has its ups and downs.


  9. I love this post!! You explained all sides of the equation perfectly. I am now in that season that you are. All the little people days are behind me and I am enjoying it!

  10. This post had me chuckling and smiling throughout. Thanks for sharing.

  11. What a great post! I *thought* my toddler days were over until last August when I found out I was quite unexpectedly pregnant. Life is so easy right now! Indy is 8 and life it good. Han Solo will be along in a few months and the crazy season will start all over again. Sigh. And BTW, there is ALWAYS wine at my parties, kids or no. IME, Moms need wine.

  12. Stopping by from Amanda's party--

    So funny! I hear you. . . sometimes I really miss those days of having little ones. . . but then again, I don't!

    Every stage has its own rewards, doesn't it?

  13. Oh, how funny!!! Being a Nannie, I don't remember a lot of the sleeplessness!!! Thank you for stopping by and linking up at Fantastic Friday @ Jeremiah 29:11!!!

  14. I had to laugh at your "looking around for the wine" comment. I am soon helping with a party for my friend's 7 year old daughter. I'll bet I'll need some WTW before the party ends!

  15. This post was excellent.
    I have a college girl and a high school girl.
    I don't wanna do it again, I am still searching for "me" some days, but overall, I am enjoying my freedoms.
    My thoughts, too, are, "It ain't a party till someone gets in trouble."
    NO WINE!?!
    Hey, wanted to ask you if you would consider letting me be able to reply to your comments?
    I posted a few weeks back about how to do that:
    I would love to be able to respond to you in a more timely manner, LOL!
    HUGS and blessings,

  16. Very well said!!

    Visiting from Serenity Now!

  17. Found you on Serenity Now and I know exactly how you feel! I've got 4 girls ages 8-18 and when I see young moms in the grocery store wrangling a crying toddler in the buggy and a screaming preschooler, I sigh and thank GOD that time in my life is over. Then I get something special for my date night with my husband and go have a latte LOL

  18. Hey, Michelle! I just had to stop by and say thank you for being the first person to link up to my WBR party. I always hold my breath, wondering if anyone will link up. Thank you!! :)

  19. I love this. I still have a 4 yo, but I already know I'm done. I don't get the slightest bit of baby fever anymore.


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