2014

Not my image, credited to Julie Tillery from Facebook

Personally, the last 2 years have been very hard. I was glad to see 2012 come to an end because we had been through so much with my DS2's illness, which changed my (our) world.  I had high hopes for 2013...hopes don't always bring results.  2013 has probably been my worst year thus far, and by now I have had a few to compare it to.

2013 saw me, for a time, have a crisis of faith which haunts me. I literally looked at my life, the devastation and destruction in it, and  I witnessed the person I thought was the strongest Christian I knew walk away from his faith, so in anger I said, "If this is what being on God's team brings, I don't want to play anymore!"   I was selfish and wanted to take MY toys and go home.  It was wrong, I sinned - there is NO excuse. I walked blindly through life for a while, without His light.  I know He was still there watching over me, but I was stumbling, falling and crawling on skinned knees without him. But like a child, I have come seeking the direction and hand of my Father and feeling His forgiveness.  The difference is, I feel like a baby now...having to learn to walk, talk and do most everything.  I am a baby in Christ right now, learning to pray, to seek His Word, to try to stay within his Will in Everything.  The above image is not my own, I saw it on Facebook and it spoke to me about the coming year....2014.  I am going to trust Him and His plan...knowing it is wonderful, knowing He thinks I am beautiful when others don't, knowing He loves me when others don't, knowing He cares what happens when others don't.  I am seeking His in 2014.

I know there will be pain in 2014 and in all honesty, I am struggling mightily with temptation as I enter this new year.  I am struggling against myself a great deal and fear is a constant battle.  But, I am determined to keep trying, to keep seeking my Savior. 

May you experience blessings and joy in 2014.