Mama Drama: where did the time go?

I just got back from finalizing all the details for my baby boy's 10th grade year of school and we will be at Open House tonight, ahead of the first day of school tomorrow.  From the time I woke up today I was filled with melancholy and nostalgia for those days when I had three to get ready for school and the little things we used to do to celebrate the arrival of a new school year. 

This year is so different.  My daughter is now a year+ into her marriage and living several hours away, my oldest son has started a new college several hours away and living on his own, and my youngest son is going to get in his own car tomorrow and drive to school by himself.

 Gone are the days of everyone having breakfast together, prayers on the way to school, first-day-of-school after school celebrations, and the sound of their voices sharing all the details of that first day. No more days of excitement over new school supplies, backpacks and lunchboxes. Life has been transitioning to this for years, but I think the realization that I only have my youngest for 36 more months really is hitting me hard now that my two oldest are out and on their own.  I am missing the days that felt simpler and full of  fun.  I miss field trips and class parties and even them getting excited about picture day.  Now, I am lucky if I know when picture day is!  I miss the anticipation of report cards and the arrival of yearbooks. I miss picking them up from cheerleading, football, baseball or basketball practice and all the games that went with it.  I even miss those forced back pack clean outs that often found moldy snacks long forgotten.

I am not sure why the nostalgia has hit so hard today.  Across the state my older son is having his first day of school and my younger one will have his tomorrow.  Maybe it is because my daughter was home this past weekend and it was good to see and hear lots of voices in the house and my Mother was here to visit last week?  I loved life when I had a full house and being Mommy.  It is the greatest gift I have ever received.  Seasons change and growth happens and, even though I miss my babies, I am proud of who they are and are becoming.  I have been blessed.

Happy New School Year!!!

What a week....

This week has not be the easiest of weeks.  My oldest son is moving out to find life on his own and heading to a new college, several hours away, in a week or so. He has been staying with friends this week and the last of his stuff will be gone on Sunday. He is actually moving out and not just to college. It is a change of season. He is going to be fine. I love him and know he wants to take on life on his own terms but as a Mom my emotions have been all over the place due to many issues.  At the very least, I can say  it is has been rocky.

Also, I am not sure if I  mentioned it, but my company phased out all Field Management within the organization at the end of June, so for the last month I have been on the roller coaster ride of unemployment.  It has meant countless hours of looking for a job, sending resumes, contacting everyone I know and fortunately interviews. It has also meant a huge weight of stress and fighting fear about the future.  This is not my favorite part of doing life alone!  I was sad to see my job go (not just for the obvious reasons!) but because I truly loved what I did and loved the people I worked with and for. I miss working with all of the sweet souls I met, but at least now I can count them as friends and not co-workers.  Either way, you can imagine this month/week has been a challenge to my sense of equilibrium and peace. 

Losing my job sent me into a real tailspin emotionally, especially since I was unaware of how invested I was in my job.  So, without it, I lost some traction, direction and a great deal of security.  Trust me when I say I have had to pray over this one.  I am praying God places me where HE wants me and that I don't run ahead of him out of fear (something I am particularly good at!) 

Strangely enough, being unemployed also has taken a toll on my school focus. Being a full time college student and working full time was not easy but somehow it worked; maybe it was the firmer schedule?  Originally I thought, "Wow, I will be able to take some time and really focus on school and just buzz through this class!" Not so, actually it has been harder to get school work done because every time I sit down at the computer I feel the need to look for a job, send a resume,  etc.  So, tonight, on this exciting and beautiful Friday night...I am writing a paper.  Whooohooo....I can feel the jealously through the screen here. 

So, I guess this is my whiny....#betransparent post of the week.  I would appreciate prayers, if you are so inclined, for my family as we transition into our new season and that what ever God is trying to teach me I will learn and it will grow me into a better person.

I graduated....in case you need proof!

So my back to school experience has officially ended and here's proof...teehee.....

and even more proof....
Since the degree is in Management, I wonder if I can manage to get my laundry caught up?

School boys...

My DH is a busy man (aren’t they all?). In addition to his demanding career, serving on 2 different school boards, leadership positions in both Gideon’s International http://gideons.org/ and our church he is also a newly enrolled Graduate Student.

Years ago, before we had children, he began working on his Masters but then his career got in the way, we had children and generally life took over. So, now he is cracking the books (or these days, the computer) again. Some of you may remember I just finished my back in school experience…I think we just like writing checks to institutions of higher education. Hey, he should be finished with his Masters before DD goes to college!