Ready to Travel



Brunette or blonde, we had it covered!

I promise my life has not been all gloom and doom as the last post probably made it seem.  This spring has had a lot of new and fun adventures and I have gained more new friends in the last few months than probably the last 3 decades combined.  The kind of friends that have your back or a trash can waiting when you need to throw up…you know the kind. 

One new thing is that I have fallen in love with traveling.  I don’t know why I didn’t ever get to do it before when I was married (well I do know, because I was home rearing children!)  but I am determined to see the world even if it is on my thin dime.  In April I took a cruise with a group of girlfriends, technically (in pure 13 year old boy fashion) we named our trip the IHT 1^st Annual Tour (on Instagram you can #IHTTOUR for a glimpse of our time)…which by the way was fabulous!!!  And no, I won’t be telling you what #IHT means. We traveled to Nassau and while laying on that white sand beach I just decided to relocate there and any family that cared to join me would be welcomed…eh, that did not work but it was a life changing idea.

Do you know that was the 1^st time in my life I have done anything just for me?  Weird, huh?  I mean it was totally about and for me and it was wonderful.  I was able to clear my head, make some decisions and have lots of other fun that shall not be named, but there is video and probably some photos and lots of dancing so we shall hope they never see the light of day.  We #IHT girls are already planning a fall trip to the mountains, although with the hilly terrain and the copious amount of adult beverages ingested it might be dangerous.

When this trip first came up I was really hesitant but my best wing-girl kept pushing and I am so glad she did because I got to show off my new red bathing suit and that in itself was worth the whole trip.  And, I for sure have a new favorite color….the blue of the Caribbean waters.  It is really quite funny because that has been the color I have been introducing in my house little by little long before the trip. It is mesmerizing.  If you have ever the chance to sit on a balcony in the middle of the ocean and watch the full moon do not pass up the opportunity in any way, shape, or form.  It is a life changer.

I am so in love with the color of the water, I want everything that color!

 

 

I was Divorced on Friday.

Friday was the day.  The day when my husband took me into a court room and divorced me.  I have spent the last year praying it would never happen. I can not even begin to tell you how many people have actively gotten on their knees an prayed over us and him.  I have prayed he would choose to love me again and come home to our family...but he didn't.  He has moved on an did it a long time ago.  Our 26 years of marriage and 30 years together were nothing.  During the proceedings he never looked at me, afterwards when I sat alone in my car crying he chose to walk by and not acknowledge me or see if I was OK.  That is when I realize what I really must mean to him. 

 

But, that isn't the way I felt for him all those years.  I loved him more than life itself and gave him everything I had to give. I was far from perfect but I gave him all my heart, devotion an adoration and believed his words and actions.  I believed in a God that had created us for each other an ordained our family as His. Now...I don't know. I truly believed we were created for each other because God knew the issues we would face and he made us so that we would weather the storms until my husband gave up. I don't even know what I believe anymore.

 

The saddest thing. though, is how his choices have destroyed what was once a happy, whole family that loved each other.  Now the bonds are broken...between Mother & Daughter, Sister & Brother, Brothers, Father & Son.  We are just the rubble of what once was. Rubble he never has to see. We paid for his choices in our pain. But he is happy and whole.

 

I realize many people will feel I shouldn't have written this post but it has been a long time since I have felt brave enough to write about us, our family, our marriage.  I am feeling braver now and maybe that is a good sign.  Maybe it is a sign of healing within myself, maybe it is growth, maybe I have had my eyes opened to reality, maybe it is just done. I haven't cried all weekend because the man that sat in that courtroom I did not know, and did not want to know....so maybe love does go away.

 

If you have a wife or a husband and/or children, hug them a little tighter, a little longer with a little more intention because it can all be gone in a blink of an eye. Choose to love, even if it is just choosing to love living today just a little more! :-)

 

Thank you will never be enough, Memorial Day 2015

I have never known the anguish of having a loved one far away fighting for my freedom.  I have never known the fear and silence between letters and calls.  I have never known the prayers that a Mother, a Father, Wife, Sister, Brothers must pray when their loved one has been called into duty.  But, I do know the thankfulness I feel when I think of the brave men and women who have given their very last breath to save what we take for granted...freedom.  I know the thankfulness I feel when my children can play freely in a park without fear and they can be taught differing world views without retribution.  That is because of the ones who gave it all.  Thank you will never be enough.

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, here I am again and it has been months since I have made time to blog.  But, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about what Motherhood has meant to me.  From my first Mother's Day back in 1992 to today my children have taught me so much about life and who I am.  They are my world.

The last couple of years have been very hard and the children and I have taken more than one curve ball but I still love being their Mother.  I have been so blessed by each and everyone of them as they have often had the tables turned on them and they had to take care of me.  I will forever be grateful for the strong, kind, intelligent and loving babies I have. 

My mind and heart are filled will memories that I pray I never forget, from first words to first steps to rocking sick babies and seeing them succeed in all they tried and then to watching them launch their adult lives.  Sometimes I wonder how I could be so lucky as to have children, and not just any children, but THESE children?

I hope that each of you whether a Mom or a Daughter or even a Father or Son take time today to really think about what your Mom or the Mother of your children really provided for you and know that she is your biggest fan and your greatest supporter.  God created Moms a special way and for a special purpose and those of us blessed enough to call ourselves Mother should cherish and pray thanksgiving everyday for that privilege.

Can we be in March Already?

What a busy month it has been!  I was so determined to get back to regular blogging and then this little thing called life got in the way.  Either way I was probably way too grumpy to blog so maybe it was a good thing.  Grumpy, you say?  Yes...the weather has made me very grumpy.  We have had what feels like constant rain.  Now I know that isn't near as bad as the snow and ice much of the country has gotten but the dreary, cloudy days just make me feel blah....The high point to where I live, though,  is that generally we get a taste of Spring before other parts of the country.

 

Just in case you are unfamiliar with anything but the traditional big, white magnolia blooms that the South is famous for these last two photos are also magnolias.  The white one is a Star Magnolia and the lovely pink one is a Saucer Magnolia (sometimes called a tulip tree.)  So, the blooms have definitely helped my mood and I have tried to keep some blooms in the house as well.

So, are you seeing Spring where you live?  What do you like to do to bring a Spring feeling to your house?



 

Happy Birthday!

Today is my Grandmother, "Ma Jones", birthday.  She would have been 101 and if she were still alive.  I miss her every single day.  Some days it seems like if I could just sit on her couch while she watched TV or on her screen porch with her it would make it all better.  The older I get the more I miss her.  Isn't that strange? Just this week I watched a video of her in her garden taken in 1991 and I sat and closed my eyes because more than seeing her I just wanted to hear her.

I think she would love the way my children are growing and would be crazy about them. She would be proud of how strong and smart and beautiful and independent my daughter is, and I know she would be smitten like all the girls with my oldest son, and somehow I think she would have a special place just for my little man.  I know her heart would have broken though,over the last year, watching my family dissolve.  She loved my husband dearly and losing him would have been like losing one of her own children, much the way my parents have felt.  It is a loss I am glad she didn't have to endure.  She saw pain in her own life, losing a Mother when she was a small child, a daughter and becoming a Widow at a much too young age.  She hurt when we all hurt and truly was the epitome of "you are only as happy as your least happy child."  She was, on the surface, a pessimist of the greatest kind but seeing her stick her hands in the soil again each Spring tells me somewhere inside there was an eternal optimist.

I love you dearly, Ma.

Happy Birthday!

Today is the day....the day that my first born baby boy turns 18.  I just can't believe it.  Though, to look at him he looks like a man, he has taken on the responsibilities of a man in many areas of life but I can still see that sweet, innocent baby boy in his eyes if I look quick enough.  I am proud of this young man and I know that God has big things planned for him.  He is becoming a real man, a rock that can also be a soft place to land.  I am blessed to have him in my life and my family.  I never knew 18 years ago what he would come to mean to our family years later...but God knew.  I love this sweet man.