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Monday, June 2, 2014

An Open Letter to Wives....



An Open Letter to Wives,
 
I am now, after 25+ years, without a husband.  He walked away.  I was not a perfect wife and I have so many regrets.  One of those regrets is not embracing, loving and celebrating the seasons and the man God created for me.  There are so many things I miss and so many things I wish I had said and done differently.  I see couples now and I want to whisper into the wife’s ear…love him; the season can be gone in a flash.  Don’t put it on the back burner.  Don’t let life get in the way…love him. Hug him, hold him, breathe him in.

Your husband might not walk away like mine did, but you never know what today holds and how quickly he could be gone.  I have watched so many sweet souls mourn the lose of their husbands to death.  No matter how long you have been married, adore him, let him know how much your respect him and his judgment, build him up.  Be his soft place to land when life attacks.  Don’t let a day, or even a moment go by, that he doesn’t feel wanted and loved.  Let God show you how to love him beyond your ability and to pour into your heart a super natural love, full of mercy and grace.  Forgive; continually remember why you fell in love with him and show him your heart and learn his.   

Our culture doesn't reward that kind of devotion but I can assure you it will pay rewards far beyond anything today's world can bring.

Trust me when I say, the season can go too quickly.

Signed,
Used to be a Wife

 "And so train the young women to love their husbands and children,"
 Titus 2:4



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7 comments:

  1. It wasn't your fault. Tears my heart out to hear you talk like that.

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  2. Stop blaming yourself. marriage isn't one-sided. You have a right to feel mad about it. And he needs the "love a wife" speech, too, no? Love yourself. That's what wives need to do. In addition to loving our children, our spouses - we have to love ourselves and expect that we will receive love in return. To settle for less is not what God wants for us, is it?

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  3. I tell my love of 32 years that I love him everyday.

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  4. I will take your advice to heart, but don't put the blame on yourself. It takes two to get married and two to make a marriage work. I think this advice would be perfect for husbands, too!

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  5. Michelle, I was thinking the same thing that the others who have commented have said. It's only natural to blame yourself when things go wrong, especially us women. We have the whole world on our shoulders and when something falls off, we are quick to blame ourselves. You both had a part in this marriage and both made mistakes. EVERY marriage is full of mistakes and missteps. The difference is that you tried to make it right and it sounds like he walked away without fighting with everything he had to fulfill the OATH that he made to God to love you all the days of his life. Sadly, that's the norm in our culture. Marriage is unimportant and thrown away like a paper plate. You are right that we get so caught up in the everyday stuff and we need to take the time to really engage in our spouses life and be genuinely interested in their wellbeing. I am in a very happy marriage of 18 years and thank God everyday for my loving husband. He's nursed me through kidney stones, depression, two miscarriages, infertility, multiple surgeries and now cancer twice. He's one in a million and I don't take that lightly. With that being said though, I heed your words that we need to REMIND our husbands that we love them and their hard work and commitment to our families. I am praying for you my sweet friend. I know your heart is broken in half right now and its so hard to see the good in any of this. I promise you though, just like my cancer, there's always good. God loves his children and HE will see you through this and you will flourish on the other side. I've been where you are at from a child's perspective. My Dad left my mom after 23 years of marriage for her best friend. The greener grass quickly faded to brown and yellow and he eventually came around and admitted and apologized. I pray you receive the same one day. Chin up sweet Southern Belle. Us Southern Belles never go down easy and you aren't either!

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  6. Michelle, I was thinking the same thing that the others who have commented have said. It's only natural to blame yourself when things go wrong, especially us women. We have the whole world on our shoulders and when something falls off, we are quick to blame ourselves. You both had a part in this marriage and both made mistakes. EVERY marriage is full of mistakes and missteps. The difference is that you tried to make it right and it sounds like he walked away without fighting with everything he had to fulfill the OATH that he made to God to love you all the days of his life. Sadly, that's the norm in our culture. Marriage is unimportant and thrown away like a paper plate. You are right that we get so caught up in the everyday stuff and we need to take the time to really engage in our spouses life and be genuinely interested in their wellbeing. I am in a very happy marriage of 18 years and thank God everyday for my loving husband. He's nursed me through kidney stones, depression, two miscarriages, infertility, multiple surgeries and now cancer twice. He's one in a million and I don't take that lightly. With that being said though, I heed your words that we need to REMIND our husbands that we love them and their hard work and commitment to our families. I am praying for you my sweet friend. I know your heart is broken in half right now and its so hard to see the good in any of this. I promise you though, just like my cancer, there's always good. God loves his children and HE will see you through this and you will flourish on the other side. I've been where you are at from a child's perspective. My Dad left my mom after 23 years of marriage for her best friend. The greener grass quickly faded to brown and yellow and he eventually came around and admitted and apologized. I pray you receive the same one day. Chin up sweet Southern Belle. Us Southern Belles never go down easy and you aren't either!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Michelle, I was thinking the same thing that the others who have commented have said. It's only natural to blame yourself when things go wrong, especially us women. We have the whole world on our shoulders and when something falls off, we are quick to blame ourselves. You both had a part in this marriage and both made mistakes. EVERY marriage is full of mistakes and missteps. The difference is that you tried to make it right and it sounds like he walked away without fighting with everything he had to fulfill the OATH that he made to God to love you all the days of his life. Sadly, that's the norm in our culture. Marriage is unimportant and thrown away like a paper plate. You are right that we get so caught up in the everyday stuff and we need to take the time to really engage in our spouses life and be genuinely interested in their wellbeing. I am in a very happy marriage of 18 years and thank God everyday for my loving husband. He's nursed me through kidney stones, depression, two miscarriages, infertility, multiple surgeries and now cancer twice. He's one in a million and I don't take that lightly. With that being said though, I heed your words that we need to REMIND our husbands that we love them and their hard work and commitment to our families. I am praying for you my sweet friend. I know your heart is broken in half right now and its so hard to see the good in any of this. I promise you though, just like my cancer, there's always good. God loves his children and HE will see you through this and you will flourish on the other side. I've been where you are at from a child's perspective. My Dad left my mom after 23 years of marriage for her best friend. The greener grass quickly faded to brown and yellow and he eventually came around and admitted and apologized. I pray you receive the same one day. Chin up sweet Southern Belle. Us Southern Belles never go down easy and you aren't either!

    ReplyDelete

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