A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules

As it has been quite quiet around these parts, well except for the big pool party we hosted on Monday night and the 4th of July Church wide picnic we attended last night...but I digress. These events have kept me a bit busy and not able to come up with suitable blogs posts so I thought I would just share a bit from one of my favorite little Southern gems, A Southern Belle Primer: Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma. 

A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules

1. Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committe meetins. It has Communist overtones.

2. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle (even it it's for the third time).

3. Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. The only exception, of course, is if your a bride. Bridesmaids, however, must never where white shoes. Bridesmaids' shoes should match the punch.

4.  It doesn't matter if you marry a man who doesn't know the difference between a shrimp fork and a pickle fork; you can always teach him. Just make sure he can afford to buy you both.

5. Never date your sorority sister's ex-husband until at least three years after the divorce. You might need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma recommendation one day. Just remember it's a lot easier to find a new man than it is to get your daughter into Kappa.

6. Never marry a man whose mother and grandmother owned silver plate instead of real silver. He's not used to quality and he'll try to cheat you on the divorce settlement.

7. It's never to soon to write a thank-you note. Some belles take the notes and a pen with them to a party. In the middle of the evening they go into the ladies' room and write a thank-you describing how much they enjoyed the dinner (naming specific items). They then put the note in the mailbox as they leave. The hostess receives it first thing in the morning. Sure this is compulsive, but you're going to have to be compulsive if you wnat to be president of Junior Leaugue.

8. Never show your bosum before evening and never wear an ankle bracelet before anything. Girls who wear ankle bracelets usually end up twirling batons. The has never been a baton twirler who became Miss American and there certainly never been a baton twirler in Junior League.

9. Never chew gum in public and never smoke on the street.

10. Buy low, sell high.*

*Schwarts, Maryln, A Southern Belle Primer, Or Why Princess Margaret will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma/Maryln Schwartz. - 1 edition, 1991, Doubleday

For more funnies get your own copy at: